Unknown to most people, my job has taught me so much about emotional intelligence. As a sourcing professional, I work in a demanding environment where things are always needed ASAP and often times we have to make miracles happen. Unfortunately, we can't make everyone happy and I have been the lucky recipient of some angry, nasty, foul- language emails when things go south. Oh well, someone even threatened me with a lawsuit once, that's how bad it could go.
In the past, I would have easily fought back to defend myself with the mentality of "You hurt me, I hurt you back. Look what you made me do" However, I quickly learned that fighting back is usually ineffective as 1) it takes an emotional and physical toll 2) nothing gets done and 3) it hurts your relationship. So few years ago, I changed my approach. When angry, I stopped everything that I do. I took a moment to breath, think about what the other side was feeling and form my responses very carefully. I took on a habit to start with saying "Thank you" and remain as polite as possible. I know it is easier said than done. How can I be "nice" to someone that hurts my feelings or throws me under the bus? Been there done that, it takes a lot of courage and patience to be the bigger person, but this will go a long way.
The method works 99% of the time and I can see the change in the person's tone after reading the email. It also helps with getting things done more quickly as people tend to work with me on getting resolutions asap. I have seen colleagues who never seem to get things done because people don't want to work with them.
Today, you can be the most workaholic and hardworking person, but you will never be successful on your own. High IQ can take you so far, but high emotional intelligence will take you much further.
Love-
Steph
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