I have a disease and it's killing me softly..

This disease is called "materialism" and I am so ashamed that I caught this.  Tried  many times to cure myself by going to ban island, but sure enough when my disposable income increase, I went straight to crazy shopping mode.  In 2017, I spent over 10K on designer bags.  The good thing was that I did pretty well on selling old bags I didn't use anymore and I babied my bags, so I usually got pretty good money to fund new bags. Still, it was crazy thinking about it. How did it go that bad?

I was a person who didn't care much about appearance and used to be dressing up in jeans & t-shirts, played sports with the boys and never put on makeup.  I think the makeup part is still true until today, but then I started to get into luxury goods few years ago and became obsessed.  I loved learning about different designers, leather, color and even enjoyed watching fashion bloggers review on luxury. 
Many times, I convinced myself that these are investment, especially the classic ones, but I can't even wear these bags without being paranoid.  So, why did I buy expensive bags that I won't even use? 

I am continuously looking for a cure and to spend more $ on travel and intangible goods. Sometimes it worked, but then I couldn't help myself when I see good deals.  Even worse, I don't think that these goods gave me any happiness.  It's just a need that I need to fulfill.  Am I crazy? 

Things I learned during my 5+ years in the workforce

Unknown to most people, my job has taught me so much about emotional intelligence. As a sourcing professional, I work in a demanding environment where things are always needed ASAP and often times we have to make miracles happen. Unfortunately, we can't make everyone happy and I have been the lucky recipient of some angry, nasty, foul- language emails when things go south. Oh well, someone even threatened me with a lawsuit once, that's how bad it could go.

In the past, I would have easily fought back to defend myself with the mentality of "You hurt me, I hurt you back. Look what you made me do" However, I quickly learned that fighting back is usually ineffective as 1) it takes an emotional and physical toll 2) nothing gets done and 3) it hurts your relationship. So few years ago, I changed my approach. When angry, I stopped everything that I do. I took a moment to breath, think about what the other side was feeling and form my responses very carefully. I took on a habit to start with saying "Thank you" and remain as polite as possible. I know it is easier said than done. How can I be "nice" to someone that hurts my feelings or throws me under the bus? Been there done that, it takes a lot of courage and patience to be the bigger person, but this will go a long way.

The method works 99% of the time and I can see the change in the person's tone after reading the email. It also helps with getting things done more quickly as people tend to work with me on getting resolutions asap. I have seen colleagues who never seem to get things done because people don't want to work with them.

Today, you can be the most workaholic and hardworking person, but you will never be successful on your own. High IQ can take you so far, but high emotional intelligence will take you much further.

Love-
Steph

My last 20's??

I haven't been blogging in a long time, but I always wanted to start again.  I felt like as you get older, you tend to forget things and important moment of your life.   So, I will write again, regularly I hope.

I can't believe I am in my last few months of my 20's.  For a decade, I believe I have lived my life as a 20 something year old would have lived.  I thank God for everything that He has given me no matter how undeserving I was.  Every choice, decision and mistake I made has led me to something good and I am so grateful to have a meaningful and purposeful life.

Here's the top 10 things I learned in my 20's :

1) How to love unconditionally
2) Balance work and life
3) Keep making new mistakes
4) Don't take things personally
5) Happiness can be found in your inner peace
6) Forgive and forget
7) Follow your heart
8) Don't judge a book by its cover
9) Be independent
10) Have faith in God

Lastly,  I was able to make peace with myself on things that I really want to do.  Our life was all about conforming to the norm, to the majority.  But what if you are different?  All this time, we are brought up to go to college, get a job, get married and have kids.  The last two years have made me understand that I am a lot more happier doing things that I want vs doing things that people are expecting me to do.  So I am gonna  keep doing just that.  Listen to people and surrounding, but eventually listen to my heart more :)

30 WILL BE LEGENDARY!

Love-
Steph

Taking things for granted..No more

Very recently,  my friend's father passed away.  As much as we tried to console her, I knew that  none of us can understand the pain and grief she felt of losing her beloved father.  Going through her experience is an eye-opening experience.  I have been living away from my parents for seven years and although we talk on the phone almost once a week, still there are times when I haven't talked to them in months.  Deep in my heart I always know that no matter what I do or where I am they are always going to be there for me and they will love me regardless.  All the things that I haven't shown enough appreciation.

Then, it comes to my attention that nothing lasts forever in this world. With my busy selfish time, I forget about them sometimes.  Yet, i know that they always pray for me every day, putting their kids above themselves.  Through them, I've learned and experienced the love of God and what it called unconditional love.  

At one point in our lives, most of us are going to go through the experience.. losing someone that we love so dearly and it hurts.  No kidding.  I am freaking TERRIFIED.  To be honest, for 25 years of my life- I have been fortunate enough to have never experience it, thus taking things for granted. I have never gone through such sorrow and all I can remember was when my grandmother passed away, there was so much grief in the family but I was too young to even understand.

If there's one thing that I learn today, is never to take things for granted anymore.  I don't want to regret later in my life that i haven't said things I should have said or do the things i should have done. I cant bare the image of me regretting everything while it is too late. If anyone reads this blog, no matter how much anger or resentment you have towards your loved ones.  You are lucky enough that they are still there with you at this moment, still love you no matter what.  Nothing lasts forever and when the time comes for you to let go, regret is the last thing you want to feel.